Tragedy inspires student midwife to support grieving parents

A Queensland mum has revealed how the trauma of losing her own baby to stillbirth inspired her to become a midwife – and help other grieving parents cope with the loss of a child.

 

Brooke, a student midwife at Mater Mothers’ Hospital in South Brisbane, said experiencing the loss of her son Darcy at 36 weeks into her pregnancy was “heartbreaking”.

 

The 33-year-old is sharing her story to raise awareness of stillbirth following Mater’s annual Wave of Light service that was heald on Sunday 15 October for families affected by the loss of a baby.

 

Brooke, from Carindale in Brisbane’s southeast, suffered a placental abruption during her pregnancy with Darcy and “almost died” during labour in 2017.

 

Placental abruptions occur when the placenta separates from the uterus wall and affect around 1 in 100 pregnancies. Brooke suffered major blood loss at home and was rushed to Mater Mothers’ Hospital. 

 

“I was 4cm dilated and knew he had already died when I got to hospital,” she said.

 

“My stomach was rock hard and I just knew he was gone.”

 

Although mild abruptions can be safely managed, sadly there was nothing doctors could do to save baby Darcy, who weighed 3.3kg when he was stillborn.

 

Brooke, who has three children – Noah, 8, Aspen, 5, and Henry, 3 – said her experience made her determined to help other women through pregnancy and the trauma of losing a baby. 

 

She is now in training as a midwife and is currently on an eight-week placement at Mater Mothers’ Hospital.

 

“I love this hospital so much – the staff helped me through some of my darkest days,” Brooke said.

 

During her placement, Brooke became a pillar of support for a mum who experienced a stillbirth at 31 weeks into her pregnancy.

 

“I spent until 2am with a couple until they delivered their little girl – it was my purpose of becoming a midwife and to help them through it all,” she said.

 

Mater Mothers’ Bereavement Team provides specialist support to women and families who lose a child and invite affected Mater parents to attend the annual Wave of Light Service on 15 October.

 

Mater Mothers’ Perinatal Loss Coordinator Emma Porter said there are around 2000 stillbirths across Australia each year.

 

She said the Wave of Light event was an opportunity to for families touched by the loss of a baby to unite as a community.

 

“Understanding the complexity of what comes after a baby dies can be so scary, so having an empathetic and compassionate team to support this time is essential,” Emma said.

 

“The bereavement team’s capacity to hold space for families experiencing a loss extends far beyond their point of discharge.”

 

Brooke said the bereavement team at Mater Mothers’ was “very supportive” following the loss of Darcy.

 

“Stillbirth is such a taboo topic and not often spoken about,” Brooke said.

 

“The staff didn’t rush us and we had valuable time with Darcy.

 

“No one ever plans for a stillbirth, so when it does happen the team is incredibly important.”

 

Brooke said Mater gifted Darcy a white gown to be buried in, and volunteer photography organisation Heartfelt provided photos of her together with Darcy as a keepsake.