Ellissa’s Story

Nothing can prepare you for the heartbreaking news at your 20 week scan that the life growing inside you for the past five months no longer has a heartbeat. Nothing can prepare you for having to go through the traumatic event of birthing your baby daughter and already knowing you will never hear her cry, feel her breath or stare lovingly back into her eyes. Nothing can prepare you for the intense sense of hopelessness and grief knowing you will be leaving the hospital without your baby in your arms. Nothing can prepare you for the lack of response from family or friends who don’t know what to say, how to show their support or how to deal with your grief.

Every Mater Mother’s Midwife we met was incredibly supportive, empathetic and nurturing from the moment we entered the hospital. It was after our daughter was born, that my husband and I were offered a number of support services to assist with the decisions to be made and next steps process.

It was at this point, that the first person who knocked on our door was Eleni from the Pastoral Care Team. Eleni immediately was able to create a safe environment, listen to our story, and provide pastoral advice and spiritual comfort when hearing our rawest emotions. With no judgement or pressure, Eleni was empathetically able to help us make decisions about how we wanted to commemorate and say goodbye to our precious baby girl. Eleni personalised our story by researching the meaning of our chosen name, which she revealed meant ‘Pearl’, unique and individual. Eleni thoughtfully personalised a special ‘Blessing and Naming’ Ceremony for which allowed us to find comfort knowing her name was written in the heart of God as it was in our own hearts forever. Eleni helped us leave the hospital feeling some comfort in our hearts but knowing there was a long journey of healing ahead.

Through the following weeks that passed, the sheer heaviness of grief for me was crushing. I was operating in a cloud of hopelessness unlike anything I had experienced. Daily tears would overwhelm me at any moment and for no reason. Eleni had kindly offered for us to visit her six weeks post the event and I had such a strong sense of gratefulness to her we wanted to say thank you to her in person.

This meeting was where Eleni was able to help start the real healing process by reminding us that no one understands the grief of losing your own child more than God and so began the restoration of hope. Eleni helped to not only bring us closer to each other but also closer to God in a myriad of ways. Our relationships have deepened, our priorities have been reprioritised and our hearts now seek God in our daily lives.

Whilst there will always be a hole in our hearts for ‘our little Pearl’, the fabric of life has continued to grow around her.

We feel truly blessed that baby girl came to touch our lives and we will always feel thankful that it was Eleni who walked into our room that day and grateful for her continued friendship, spiritual guidance and prayers over our family. 

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